Yup, you read it right. We’re talking to electricity, on behalf of a pretty great company called Powershop.
The Unfuckers: Hi Electricity. Thanks for sitting down with us today.
Electricity: I’m not sitting. Electricity can’t sit, we just surge.
The Unfuckers: Um, ok. Thanks for surging with us today.
The Unfuckers: So, we were thinking it would be good to go back and talk about your background a little. People know electricity as a thing that charges their phones and helps bring us Netflix, but there are massive concerns about your source. Like coal.
Electricity: [Sighs] Listen ladies, I’ve been around for a long time. I don’t like the whole coal thing anymore than you. It’s a problem for the planet and therefore it’s a problem for me getting a good sleep at night. Coal is a dirty energy source and is the biggest contributor to global warming. It’s bloody alarming that around 40% of the world’s electricity still comes from coal. I’ve been doing this for over 100 years, and I’d like to keep doing it for another 100. If we fuck the planet, I’m outta a job.
The Unfuckers: You’re out of a job and we’re out of somewhere to live. We read Australia’s greenhouse emissions are currently on the rise – electricity emissions make up around a third. What we’re really concerned about is how the majority of our power comes from coal and not from renewables.
Electricity: Again, tell me something I don’t know. You’d think I’d have some kind of control over where my source comes from, but I don’t. Neither do the people who supply electricity. So in the end, neither do you.
The Unfuckers: We’re not sure if people know much about this, can you explain it a bit more?
Electricity: All us electrons hang out in the same place on the grid and I have no control whose home I get sent to or my source – whether it’s coal or renewables. It’s like an actor’s equivalent of a haemorrhoid cream ad. You don’t want to do it, but when you get the call, work is work.
The Unfuckers: So as customers, what can we do about this if we don’t have any control?
Electricity: You pull your finger out and find yourself a power company that is at least trying to do something about moving over to renewables.
The Unfuckers: Thanks for the segue.
Electricity: You’re welcome. It was like pulling a plug out of a dodgy socket.
It's bloody alarming that around 40% of the world's electricity still comes from coal